Cooking Stuff #132

Tomatoes or corn?

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Hi from July! Where did the time go? The last few weeks have gone by insanely fast while also feeling like the longest day of my life on repeat. Today’s newsletter is a newsletter of updates. I’ll start with the sad one and end with better topics.

We got answers about Chaz’s cancer, kinda. Last week we got results back from the cancer panel and met with an oncologist. Chaz has mast cell cancer in his lymph nodes, this has been confirmed by four pathologists now. The mysterious parts are that this usually starts in the digestive system and organs but they didn’t see any abnormalities when they looked at his organs during surgery. Once it has spread to the lymph nodes it should also be detected in high numbers in a blood sample, his sample had low numbers. The biggest mystery is that the biopsy of the tumor in his chest did not come back with high numbers of mast cells. Our oncologist shot it straight with us, which we appreciated, and said he is filled with cancer but the exact types and exactly where it started is unknown. Chemo was on the table but everyone agreed it wasn’t in his best interest to put him through it. Since we don’t know what type of cancer is in his chest, there is no guarantee it will work.

Chaz is home now on a daily steroid riding out the rest of his life. Our oncologist was amazed by how well he is doing because apparently, the tumor is enormous. I can see his chest is extra pronounced when I look down at him now. It is a matter of time before it gets too big and causes issues with his lungs or heart. If he loses any more weight his body will have a hard time functioning. The steroid has helped and he is eating 6+ meals a day but everything is up in the air. Besides being skinny, if you came over today and saw him you wouldn’t say he looked like a cat dying of cancer. He’s doing all of his normal cat stuff.

When this first started Marco and I were both in freak-out-panic-what-is-happening mode. Grief set in quickly but there was a glimmer of hope that maybe we could save him. After hearing the news that there was nothing we could do it crushed us both. We cried for two days straight. Any time we looked at him = instant tears. Now, whenever one of us walks by we look at him for an extra second to make sure he is okay. We no longer burst out crying but it is a constant reminder of what’s coming. I have seen a new side to Marco through this–a soft, tender, and extra-loving side. Often I catch him whispering to Lola how sorry he is that her Chaz will leave her soon. He is supportive to Chaz in any way he can be and he never rolls his eyes anymore when I say “Give that cat a kiss, just because you can.”

If you’re not an animal person, I know I sound like a freak, but I am an animal person. I have helped turtles across bridges, followed dogs for blocks to return them to their owners, and trapped kittens with my bare hands in alleys (that’s how we ended up with Ollie). I would do anything for my pets and my heart is broken over this.

In my PJs with baby Ollie freshly snatched from the streets at 7 AM.

This week I decided I needed to pull myself out of the depression spiral and get my shit together. I pulled out my planner again and started doing my morning walks with Josie. I also put together a Bake Sale! Truthfully this is something I had been planning on doing forever but needing to pay off these vet bills got my ass to work. I dropped a few pastry boxes on my website for pick up tomorrow 7/8 and was overwhelmed by the support. They sold out in two days!

More details in the post below:

There is an option to participate and help if you are not in the LA area. You can select a “pay it forward donation” and for every donation I’m dropping off a box of cookies to my local neighborhood fridge. Some very generous people asked how they could help us but it felt weird to just accept money. It feels better to keep the help flowing and pay it forward to my community. Yesterday I dropped off 8 boxes of chocolate chip cookies and will deliver another batch next week.

My next bake sale won’t be until August but the “pay it forward donation” will be up on my website and I’ll keep donating boxes as they come in.

When my boyfriend passed away I baked constantly. People would ask if I wanted to come over and I would reply “If I can bake for you.” It’s cathartic and gets me out of my head. This has been a great way to get dressed every morning and keep going instead of sinking into sadness.

Grilled eggplant dip I'm serving at the July 22nd dinner.

Since it’s July that means BACKYARD is happening in just a few short weeks. The only benefit to canceling the June dinner is that Marco and I got a TON done around the house. I painted the fences Marco built on the sides of the house. Well, I primed them but our primer was color matched and it looks like I painted them! I still need to do the final paint coat. The outdoor kitchen is completed and I have been using it a bunch. Marco has done more hardscaping getting the seating area ready and our garden is thriving. Now I feel fully ready to put this dinner on!

August and September are completely sold out, if you would like to come to dinner on July 22nd grab a ticket below. If you know anyone that might be interested, please send them the details. I would love to sell this dinner out too.

IT’S TOMATO SANDWICH SEASON!

1. Get the ripest tomato you can find and slice it into rounds. Season it with good salt, fleur de sel or flakey like Maldon, and let it sit while you prep the rest.

2. Get two pieces of soft fluffy white bread. I used challah (highly recommend) and I love brioche here.

3. Spread mayonnaise on both sides. Yep, both sides. My preference is Dukes but you do you.

4. Sprinkle one side with chopped chives and the other side with fresh cracked black pepper.

5. Pat those tomatoes dry and lay them on your bread.

6. Fold, slice in half, and enjoy right away!

Three recipes that are going out in my bake sale boxes tomorrow:

#47: Lemon Tahini Loaf

#73: Caramel & Chocolate Chunk Cookies

#61: Blueberry Almond Crumb Cake

• The Designer Strawberry Has Arrived – I tried Driscoll’s Tropical Bliss™ strawberry once and it was awful. If I ever see Oishii, I’ll give them a try for sure but I’m not here for designer food.

• The Very Best Bagels in the US (Yes, Outside New York) – Belle’s is my neighborhood spot, I crave it often. Courage Bagels makes a damn good bagel but I would like them to stop calling them “Montreal style” because they are nothing like a Montreal bagel. This article is part of a series on bagels from Bon Appétit and I enjoyed it a lot. More here.

• Kraft Singles, Apple Pie Team Up for 4th of July – I don’t put cheese on my apple pie…do you?

Go get a sandwich at Roma Market. They have two kinds, veggie or meat. Get the meat and then, people might come for me for this, go home a doctor it up. It comes very basic–bread, a variety of sliced meats, and olive oil. Delicious? Yes, of course. But it’s better with a little mustard, sliced lettuce, or even some giardiniera. So go grab one, zhuzh it up, and enjoy!

Update your muffin pans…You don’t need to but it’s a good idea. I did in preparation for my bake sale and I’m glad I did. I had an old grocery store muffin pan that has been with me for as long as I can remember. Dark metal (a big no-no for me), lots of scratches, and rusting. Having a sturdy set has elevated my muffin/cupcake baking 💁🏼‍♀️.

When I die you’ll find me in heaven like this.

Tomatoes.