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I ran into a friend from high school last week that I hadn’t seen in over 10 years. I actually ran into six people from high school at this birthday party and the only one I really wanted to see was my old friend. We hid in the kitchen and chatted the whole time but she probably didn’t know we were hiding. After the basic hi–how are you–oh my god–it’s been so long questions she hit me with “I have been going through a hard time right now, what’s your daily routine and what are you doing for self-care?”
What a bold question! Funny enough I have been consistent with a new routine for the last six weeks and am feeling really good. I was ready to answer her question in very specific detail:
I sleep with my phone in the kitchen, not next to the bed. This removes the option for late night or first thing in the morning doom scrolling. I started doing this years ago and will not go back to having my phone next to the bed.
I wake up before seven with the sun because we still don’t have blinds but I like it. Instead of laying in bed because I can, I force myself out1.
Scrape my tongue, brush my teeth, wash my face with cold water, and slap mineral sunscreen on.
Make the bed.
Immediately head out the door and walk Josie.
This last step has been a game changer. I used to take Josie on long midday walks but found myself missing it more often than I should have because I was too “busy.” It’s unfair to Josie and I could see her becoming more reactive and restless on the days she didn’t get a good walk in. I decided to start doing it first thing in the morning to guarantee it happened every day. I know she’s happier with this routine but I didn’t know how happy it would make me. I’m no scientist but let me tell you there is something to movement, sunlight, and fresh air in the morning.
Halfway through our walk, we stop at an empty lot with a wide view of the mountains that make up Angeles National Forest. The 134 freeway runs across the horizon but hey, it’s still a mountain view. I stand there in my PJs and identify three things I see, hear, and feel. It’s an exercise I found on TikTok (slightly embarrassed about how much I find on TikTok) to help you focus on the present and it really works.
Back inside I drink warm lemon water which is something I have done every day for almost 10 years without fail. Then I read 1-3 chapters from my book, check my planner, and I’m ready to start my day. All of this happens before 7:30 AM! Once I started this routine I suddenly had more hours in my day, huh!
The book I just finished reading is The Creative Act: A Way Of Being by Rick Ruben. Ever heard of him? It was recommended to me by my friend, Annie, another recipe developer. The book is 78 areas of thought around creativity. For me, It has been nice to read a thought or two each day and spend the day applying it to myself. One area of thought on habits has stuck with me:
Discipline and freedom seem like opposites. In reality, they are partners. Discipline is not a lack of freedom, it is a harmonious relationship with time. Managing your schedule and daily habits well is a necessary component to free up the practical and creative capacity to make art.
As someone who finds every excuse for why I couldn’t get something done, having a sticking with a disciplined morning routine for the first time ever has opened up my days significantly. Once I have taken care of myself (and Josie), I can be present for whatever the day brings me. You know the oxygen mask rule–put yours on first and then help others.
After I listed off all of my early morning tasks I felt a wave of guilt. I don’t think she took it this way but I felt like I had been bragging about my perfect routine in my perfect life. Since she was vulnerable by asking I decided to be vulnerable and add that 7 months ago I wasn’t doing any of this and the anxiety I felt paralyzed me. It took a lot of trial and error to get to this version of my morning routine and when it no longer serves me anymore I’ll change it up. That’s another thing I have been focusing on recently. Getting comfortable with the impermanence of life. I can thank my yoga teacher for implanting that one in my head.
I’d like to ask you, what’s your daily routine and what are you doing for self-care?
Two weeks ago I linked my Lamb Burger recipe for you guys to make. Following that newsletter I went to the store and got all the ingredients to make them, except buns. I didn’t notice until it was time for dinner. I made a quick pivot and turned burgers into meatballs, added romaine lettuce to the slaw to bulk it up, and baked some sweet potatoes. I served all the burger toppings over the sweet potatoes making…lamb meatball bowls? They were great!
Fennel + Coriander Fall-Apart Pork Shoulder with Meyer Lemons, Cream, and a Very Important Garnish – From Nora Singly’s newsletter Noodle
In complete honesty, I didn’t make this recipe. I was however inspired by it to make a very similar fennel, Meyer lemon, and coconut pork solder. Nora’s newsletter is a new favorite and you should give it a read plus try this recipe.
The Emotional Relief of Forgiving Someone – “What forgiveness does is sort of free the victim from the offender.” Yes, yes it does.
Soggy Fries Are Good, Actually – Respectfully…no. “As a society, we discriminate against soggy fries.” That’s because soggy fries are depressing and unsatisfying. If it doesn’t crunch, I don’t want it.
A Traveler’s Guide to Tipping in a Changed World – I’m looking forward to our vacation in Europe where I don’t have to worry about tipping like we do here.
I have a story for you, there is a restaurant that we love in Los Feliz. They also have a to-go window where you can order pastries and coffees. I hopped out of the car, quickly ordered two coffees, tipped 20% because service is always great, and then waited. While standing there I looked over my receipt and found the tip was included in the bill…So I tipped a tip on top of the included tip. The iPad prompted me for 5%, 8%, or 10% but I was happy to tip 20% and added that in myself. Nowhere did it mention that the tip was already included and the small 5-10% is an “additional” tip. This is sneaky and I’m not here for it. I let it go and looked at it as a nice bonus for the guy that always helps us. Now I know.
Recently we stopped and ordered to-go coffees there again but this time Marco was at the window with me. When the screen prompted a 5%, 8%, or 10% tip I tried to quietly whisper to him “Don’t tip.” The guy taking our order was standing right in front of us smiling and other customers were right behind us watching. It was awkward and Marco added a quick 20% like he always does. While we waited he looked over the receipt wondering why it was so expensive and discovered what happened. He let it go also but not as fast as I did, he was pissed.
I’m all for having the tip included but I’m not here for sneaky practices asking for “additional” tips. Tipping culture is out of control. This video explains it more.
White bread, mayonnaise, and sliced onion – would you eat it? I totally would try it but I can’t imagine it’s that good?!
Moo’s Craft BBQ – Moo’s is very good. Very peppery but very good. Hands down order the Thicc Burger (yes, that’s what it is called). That’s what I will order again if we go back. The sides left much to be desired but the meat was all very good.
The Creative Act: A Way of Being – I read a few chapters every morning for the last few weeks and really enjoyed it. It has helped me change the way I approach being creative. Any creative person (everyone) could benefit from this book.
Completely unrelated to anything I have ever talked about in this newsletter…If you are in LA and need a carwash I can’t recommend Clean Boys Auto Detailing enough. Tony comes to you and washes your car in the driveway. I will use him forever.
We have a rule in our house–last one out of bed makes the bed. If I’m awake and I hear Marco’s alarm that’s extra motivation to get my ass out of bed.
Lately I wake up, make coffee, and read out of three mediation books. After each reading I translate the meditation into a phrase or short sentence and write it on the back of a postcard (the postcards I have collected over the years and never sent). I use a fountain pen and magenta ink for the ritual) Then I take the post card with me in the car when I drive my daughters to school and leave it there for the day so each time I get in the car I am reminded of how to direct my thinking. I am hoping to have a year of meditations with postcards I have bought on my travels. Maybe the pictures of art and monuments and memories will help connect it all... maybe not.
My work-day morning routine is pathetically short and spartan: brush teeth, throw scrubs on, put hair up, make coffee and eat cereal in the car on the way to work after a quick dog walk (my hubby does the longer a.m. dog walk). However lately, I have added 5 minutes of doggie play time and it really enhances my mood going into work.