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Remember back in July when we moved back to California? How we bought a house here and sold our house there? If you recall everything went shockingly smooth and we had luck on our side throughout the whole process. Well, it went smoothly until it didn’t.
A small thing came up after the sale closed on our KC home. This thing which could have and should have been handled at the appropriate time turned into a bigger thing. Then it got even bigger and the major stress set in. This might give a little more context to the overwhelming anxiety and break I needed in October. Never in my life did I think we would be dealing with lawyers on top of all the chaos during that time.
Nine months later, we are closing out April and we finally have a resolution. This had been looming over us and although in recent months we both have been okay about it, this week was stressful. Shit got real and we were both nervous wrecks.
Marco coped with yard work. One night when I expressed the anxiety I felt he said to me “five hours of yard work has helped me today.” FIVE HOURS. By hour three he claimed his head was clear. On top of planting four fruit trees, he figured out how to fix our existing sprinkler system and set up drip irrigation for the entire yard. This is a man who couldn’t assemble Ikea furniture 5 years ago. I am impressed every day with the new skills he picks up.
And me? I was assembling the Ikea furniture we bought and reorganizing the house. This is a coping mechanism I picked up as a kid to create the illusion that I have control over things. It kept me busy for a few days and the house looks great now.
While I was productive around the house, I haven’t been in the creative cooking department. Even trying to work on recipes that just need fine-tuning was unsuccessful. I have learned to accept when that happens and not to force anything. It never turns out great anyway. I found this note I had jotted down in my drafts and it paints a good picture of where I was at this week…
Things I’ve eaten this week:
Two baskets of strawberries from the farmer's market
Expensive vanilla yogurt with expensive granola and banana slices. I will not be purchasing the expensive granola again but I like the yogurt.
A bag of sugar snap peas standing at the kitchen island.
Spring pasta salad that I decided I do not like.
3/4 of a bag of Trader Joe’s honey wheat pretzels because I saw this TikTok about them being discontinued. Even though they are really not that great, they are nostalgic.
Peanut butter jelly toast x3 (on separate days, not all at once).
Very boring salads because I need vegetables.
Stale Peep’s leftover from easter. Hard like I like them.
Spring Chicken and Rice with Sugar Snaps and leeks. The only real meal I could get myself to cook this week.
A celebratory dinner at ___.
We ended up going to Dunsmoor Bar for dinner. Behind the restaurant, they have a wine bar where you can order all the small plates on the menu. It’s more than enough to fill up on and it was a great way to celebrate this little win. Obviously, I’m being slightly vague about the issue. Today I am grateful that Marco did not skimp out on our homeowner’s insurance because this newsletter would have a very different tone. We had months of horrendous anxiety and a hellish eight-hour day this week but we are okay and can finally close the door on Kansas City.
I wasn’t prepared for the relief I would feel. Of course, I wanted this to be over and knew that would feel good but the way I could instantly feel the stress leaving my body was overwhelming. That makes it sound relaxing when in reality I screamed at the top of my lungs for about five minutes. I yelled every nasty profanity and let all my pent-up anger out. Then I danced. Forcing Marco to wiggle around the living room with me for a minute. We had dinner together, saw a friend, and came home like every other night.
My voice was hoarse, my legs ached, and I went to bed early. Before I popped into bed I unpacked the very last box we had sitting around. Just some books which I organized neatly along the wall. It felt significant in a way like that was it. The last of our stuff has found a home in this house.
I got in bed with Ollie and I laid there for over an hour while I was flooded with memories. Driving down our street, cooking in my kitchen, exploring the woods behind our home, Bruno, all of the lakes, Q39 bbq, chopping down Christmas trees, picking strawberries, laying in our bed – they just kept coming. For the first time since we left, those memories felt like nothing more than special memories. Now I look back at that time as a wild mid-west chapter of our lives. No more resentment, even about the pandemic. We wouldn’t be here without all of it and our time there was special in its own way. That night I felt really present in my current life, grounded with who I am, and where we are. That was then and here I am now.
Last week’s recipe! You know the one in a Ziploc bag.
Four spring recipes you should try:
Cocaine & Cooking at Chez Panisse – A fantastic read.
No, the King doesn't own all the swans in Britain – I’m not a history person but I love history facts, ya know what I mean. Who knew swans were once a luxury item? To eat and as decoration.
Here Are the 2023 James Beard Awards Restaurant, Chef, and Media Finalists – Love to see Yoli Torilleria and The Cook You Want To Be on this list.
Burnt ends sandwich in Missouri > In-N-Out burger in California
If you know about 10,000 steps you have to listen to this episode.
Chifa – Another neighborhood spot that we should have popped into sooner. Traditional Cantonese, Taiwanese, and Peruvian dishes all under one roof. As soon as we sat down the power went out. We moved outside to the patio and our menu was limited but what we were able to try was great. Brûlée Char Sui is a must order.
A fun set of colorful glasses from Ikea! I spotted them on the way out by the register, that’s where they get ya, but I’m glad I grabbed them. They are fun, feel good in your hand, and will get a lot of use this summer. I’m going back to get another box, only $16!
Get the umbrella policy.