Welcome to Cooking Stuff. I’m Marcella. This is a place where I talk about all things food, cooking, and my life. If you are not a subscriber, hit that button below to join us. And, yes, original recipes from me will be coming back soon. When? I don’t know but soon, promise!
Often when I talk about my years working as a family assistant I share all the things I learned not to do. As an outsider hired to come in and help, I would quickly picked up on all the things that were not working. Every now and then, truthfully very rarely, I picked up some things that worked well and have held on to them for when I have kids.
One of my favorite jobs was working for a family with four teens. One was away at school, one went to school in Woodland Hills, one in El Segundo, and the last in Culver City. If you are not familiar with LA, just know these three schools are as far apart as possible and after school pick up is nearly impossible for one person. That’s where I came in. I would drive around in traffic to collect teens and deliver them home. It was a nightmare some days but I did it for a handful of years because I loved the whole family. All three teens that I spent time with were quirky in their own way but really awesome kids, especially to me. Their mother was even cooler. She gave off radiant energy of effortless grace. With wicked style, she always looked stunning, had an activity to do around the house, and was pulling out food to feed you. At the same time she was never intimidating and would kick her shoes off to hop on the couch and ask you about you. Her home felt like another home to me over the years as they all invited me in like family. This is rare when you work in homes for people, trust me on that, it’s something I hold on to and hope to replicate later in my life.
One firm rule she held as the teens entered the later years of high school was that they needed to be home for Shabbat on Friday. I’m not talking about sitting around a table lighting candles traditional Shabbat. Just that they physically needed to be home after school and because this was her rule, all friends were welcome. There was food placed out to casually feed everyone, games outside in the yard, and tons of people coming and going. When I would arrive with a car full of teens I was always invited to stay. Marco even came up after work a few times. We would mingle with the teen friends and the parent friends in a really harmonious way.
I had never seen this before. Only traditional Shabbat dinners which were religious evenings. This was the first time I saw it as a day for gathering, the whole point was to just be together. Friday evenings at their house felt fun and that feeling stuck with me. It was one of many things that I looked up to that mom for doing. The youngest just turned 21 and the twin girls have graduated college. I cherish those years I spent working for them and am grateful for social media for keeping us connected.
When we decided to move back to LA, Marco and I knew we needed to find a way to host all our friends again. It was something we did a lot of in our early 20s and missed desperately when we moved away. “Shabbat” dinners were the obvious answer. We decided on once a month because weekly would be too much at the moment and we would hold the same principles that mom had with her Friday Shabbat dinners – all are welcome.
We have done four now and they have served as a great creative challenge for me. Creating a menu, cooking large quantities for a crowd, and cooking multiple very long days. It is a different pace than what I have been doing for the last few years (I like it). My body aches with accomplishment Saturday morning and it’s not something I get from recipe development.
The meal is casual and you can come and go as you please but the table is always set, flower arrangements are placed around the house, and candles are lit. All the details are really fun for me to put together. Our friend brings her Shabbat candles to light and sometimes I make challah that’s flavored to go with our meal, like thanksgiving stuffing seasoning in November. Admittedly, it’s a ton of work but we both enjoy putting the evening together. Marco is an essential part as he does the final details before people arrive – clean the bathrooms, light the candles, and prepare the drinks.
Now that we have done a few I have noticed the same pattern repeating. First I get excited and all my creative wheels start turning to plan the details. When we send out the invite I get a pit in my stomach. A feeling like “what if no one comes?” and I almost wish I wasn’t hosting because this feeling feels so uncomfortable. The RSVPs come in and I start to feel good again. I stay open to including plus ones or extra people that are in town and remind myself when a friend can’t make it that “whoever is meant to be here, will be here.”
Next, I go into cooking mode. I cook all week long with a detailed timeline of which tasks need to get done each day. I don’t think about much besides the food I am cooking and this is my happy place. When Friday rolls around more uncomfortable feelings creep in. Am I burdening people by making them come over? So and so doesn’t know anyone, will they be okay? Will anyone have a good time? All this self-doubt feels so icky and leads to me saying to myself that this is the last Shabbat I will host.
When we finally make it to 7 pm and people start to roll in every negative thought evaporates. I’m not bothered by the few dishes in the sink or that we still have moving boxes as bedside tables. It’s okay that I am still finishing the last few steps to my dishes as people arrive. I’m able to be present in the energy of a house full of people and enjoy the best part, I’m feeding them!
Our kitchen island is littered with cups, leftover food, and all the things a party brings by the end of the night. No matter how late it is I load and start the dishwasher, soak big things in the sink, and wipe the counters down before bed. Always. When I wake up Saturday my cup is overflowing from the night before. It feels good to be with our people and that's why we continue to host. It’s helped keep me afloat the last few months.
So why do I feel so bad before? I have been reflecting on those feelings recently. Where does all the self-doubt come from and what am I afraid of? When the invite goes out I feel like a little kid wondering if anyone likes her enough to come to her party. Then the worry before the dinner is all because I want to make sure others have a good time. My goal is to get to a place where I am able to let these feelings roll past me instead of convincing myself each month that this should be the last dinner I ever host. I’m working on my confidence all around. Confidence in my cooking (almost there), confidence in my ability to put together a nice evening, and confidence in myself. After all my house is full month after month, I must be doing something right.
Hyderabadi Chicken Curry – from Milk Street
So I sent out a curry recipe a few weeks ago and was very straightforward with you about it being fast and easy but needing some zhuzhing. This curry recipe is the opposite in every way. It uses a handful more ingredients and has a few extra steps but the flavors are perfectly layered so that every bite is better than the next.
I did a test run of this curry one night and it was good. When I made it a second time for my dinner, it was even better. A few people said it was their favorite dish. I followed the curry recipe to a T but I made it vegetarian. This is what I did:
Make the curry exactly as the recipe says. Tamarind and curry leaves are harder to find but if you have an Indian grocery store around you, they will have them.
Cut a sweet potato or two into bite-size pieces and steam them until soft.
I let both cool separately and reheated them together the next day. I think letting the curry sit overnight helped the flavors develop even more but it’s not necessary. Just gently stir the sweet potato into the curry and enjoy.
11/10!
Day 47: Spraying Ur Beans – I have never noticed my coffee grinder creating static electricity, is this a thing? If this is a problem you have then this could be a very useful solution. There is a video to watch with a more detailed explanation but I couldn’t get through the whole thing (boring). If you spray your beans, please tell me all about it!
Cheese is "healthier" than you thought. So what? – This is a layered read but a very good read. I grew up in the thick of diet culture and have spent years removing the “good” or “bad” stigmas from food. Instead of having an ultra-processed low-fat string cheese for a snack because it is “good” I started enjoying higher quality cheeses. Hi french brie on a fancy $7 cracker. Without a doubt it tastes better, it’s more fun and exciting, and I feel more satisfied. Eat cheese and don’t think twice about it!
Hate cilantro? Love olives? Why some foods are so polarizing – The only food in the whole world I can’t seem to like is liver…I will always try a bite but it never grows on me.
Fa fa fa fascinating! I’m a subtitle person and this all makes sense. I’m not turning them off anytime soon but I do want to get a sound bar eventually, mainly for music but I guess for TV now too.
Still firm in my belief that fake meat ain’t it.
Baby Mezcal White Negroni – a Marco recipe!
1 oz Mezcal
1 oz Amaro Angeleno
1 oz Dolin Blanc Vermouth
Orange peel to garnish
Marco made about 20 of these at our dinner last week. They are dangerously good and require no skill at all. Add equal parts mezcal, Amaro Angeleno, and Dolin Blanc Vermouth to a glass with ice. Stir for one minute and pour over fresh ice cubs into your glass. Twist an orange peel and rub it along the rim, enjoy!
Crudo e Nudo – We found ourselves over on the west side and finally stopped at Crudo e Nudo, a sustainable seafood restaurant with low-intervention wines. The husband and wife couple started doing pop-ups in 2020 and a physical location opened shortly after. I have been watching their evolution on Instagram and have been wanting to stop in for a long time.
We ordered a half dozen oysters, kanpachi, tilefish, and caviar nachos. The oysters came with a sauce already on them making them my second favorite dish behind the kanpachi. Everything was fresh and flavorful, just what I expected. I don’t know if I would wait for a table on a busy day but it is definitely somewhere I will pop into again when strolling along Main Street.
The menu changes daily, you order inside and seat yourself. It’s a casual spot with killer seafood.
I was a fool and followed the boucle trend by getting a huge beautiful WHITE boucle couch. As much as I love it I regret it deeply already. Not so much that it is white but that it is boucle. The woven fabric collects and hangs onto every piece of pet hair, plus crumbs. The texture was quickly ruined and now just looks fuzzy…I have to not focus on it and enjoy it while it looks good.
To help preserve it I switched from vacuuming it all the time to lint rolling it all the time. YOU NEED A GIANT LINT ROLLER! Where was this giant lint roller the last 9 years of my pet parent life? Everything in my house is hairy and the Dyson does a good job but truthfully this bad boy gets more stuff off and faster!
Lenny, the community cat. He lives outside in my neighborhood, is cared for by the art school, and likes to spend time in The Grant. We now stop into The Grant to see him and grab a drink. He even has an Instagram.