Since I was a preteen I have enjoyed “women’s” magazines. I regularly flipped the pages of Good Housekeeping, Better Homes and Gardens, and Real Simple fantasizing about the home I would one day have. In this house, I would garden, cook, keep it in pristine condition, and be the ultimate housewife. This was a weird thing to dream of in the 2010s when everyone was a strong hard working feminist but I love household chores!! What can I say?
The ultimate real-life example of an aspirational homemaker is my grandmother, Marge. Her home runs like a well-oiled machine. It is always in immaculate condition but doesn’t feel sterile or weird. Rather it’s always welcoming and very homey. Dinner is routinely served at 6:30 pm with usually just enough for that meal and maybe leftovers for lunch the next day. She is creative and always offers up a technology-free activity or craft for children and adults. Currently, she has a basket of chalk at the end of her driveway for neighbors to stop and draw something when walking by her house. She’s the only person I know who also irons her bedsheets as I do (psychotic I know). She will get on her knees and scrub the bathroom grout with a toothbrush, change her shirt, and greet you with a smile on her face charming, calm, and happy to invite you in.
My whole childhood I spent one or two days a week with my grandparents. This was something I didn’t always love but I also didn’t have a say in. My mom was a working mom and they all helped with the afterschool hours. Marge had a lot of rules that my angsty child/teen self loathed but with age, I learned to appreciate them. Eventually realizing how similar we are. I say now that I am one third my mom, one third my dad, and one third Marge. How incredibly lucky I am to be a wild blended mix of the three!
I still subscribe and regularly read all three magazines I listed above. The section I look forward to the most every month is Real Simple’s etiquette questions column answered by Catherine Newman. Most times I read the questions submitted by strangers across the country and immediately know what she is going to suggest they do. It is a clear reminder every month that we as humans overthink things, oftentimes we need to suck it up and be the bigger person, and when in doubt write a handwritten card.
Her advice is written in a nostalgic blunt tone and she sticks with the traditional concepts of manners. She never coddles the advice seeker or tells them their feelings are valid just because they have them. Her advice is always to handle situations honestly and directly, set a clear boundary, and sometimes you really do need to suck it up and be polite because that’s just what we humans do sometimes. Each week I read her column in my grandma’s voice because I was lucky enough to learn all the old fashion dos and don’ts of etiquette directly from Marge.
Last month a reader wrote in and expressed that she hated fake made up holidays, like Mother’s Day. This reader asked for permission to spend the day doing an activity she enjoyed alone instead of having lunch with her mother and grandmother despite being close with both of them. Catherine’s advice was direct and sort – you celebrate these holidays with family because you won’t have the opportunity to do that forever.
The second I got to the end of the sentence I put the magazine down and booked a flight home to surprise my grandma for Mother’s day.
My mother helped me with the plan. She invited Marge (and my grandpa Bob) over for Mother’s Day brunch. I flew in Friday afternoon and hid my Instagram story from her and a few people in her circle so she would have no clue where I was.
Today, Sunday, I woke up early and went to the farmers’ market for ingredients and then headed straight home to work on brunch. The house was ready, multiple cameras were rolling, and I was tucked away hiding on the balcony when she arrived. But when she finally came around the corner and saw me she wasn’t the slightest bit surprised…
Out of all the people I hid my Instagram story from I forgot one very important person, her sister. They spoke this morning and me being in LA this weekend was casually brought up. It unfortunately and completely unintentionally ruined the surprise.
It really sucked and I was overwhelmed with disappointment. This has been in the works for a while and my mom and I were giddy with excitement all weekend. I wasn’t upset with anyone but myself for completely forgetting that detail in the plan but man was I upset it didn’t go as expected. We got so close!!!
At the end of the day, I am extremely grateful that I was able to sit in a room with both my mother and grandmother on Mother’s Day. Something that some of us were not able to do today. If you can, take that flight, pick up the phone, or write a handwritten note. It’s worth it.
I Bought 6 Things at Martha Stewart’s Tag Sale But I could have stolen any number of them.
US egg factory roasts alive 5.3m chickens in avian flu cull – then fires almost every worker
This Chef Researches Diners Online—and Cancels Reservations If He Sees “Misbehavior” *An interesting read!
A really lovely conversation about food and how it makes us feel.
I have been researching scones vs biscuits this week and had a good lol at this old video from 2015.
I haven’t eaten at Milo and Olive in…years? Pre-pandemic for sure. They converted the back area into outdoor dining and now take reservations. The whole experience was highly enjoyable. Crispy octopus caught my eye on the menu and was a standout favorite.
This week in our Crispy Peanut Tofu Bowl recipe, we cut carrots into a julienne. This is a super thin strip 1/16-1/8th of an inch thick and about 3 inches long. You can do this with a knife or you can get this $10 peeler from OXO and make life a million times easier. I love this little tool and it will totally up your kitchen game.
Happy Mother’s Day, talk to you next week!
Xx M
Always love your newsletters & this one was exceptional! Loved reading about yelpsters getting banned from restaurants, added the julienne-r to my amazon basket, & sent that awesome looking shrimp boil adaptation recipe to a friend who just moved to the south of France (land of artichokes & seafood!).
This was one of the best Mother’s Days ever! I was with my fabulous daughter and amazing and very talented granddaughter. The fact that the well-planned surprise didn’t happen just adds to the story. The meal was amazing…. that young woman really knows how to cook!!!