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When Marco and I got married we created a joint email. This was something I learned when I worked as a nanny. One family had set up an email and everything pertaining to the kids was sent there. It was brilliant and kept both parents and both nannies (yes, multiple) in the loop and with easy access to everything they might need.
Marco and I don’t have kids but we use this email for the vet, our utility bills, our Amazon account, and any home-related purchases. I can’t recommend it enough.
Two weeks ago we ordered a dining room table. It arrived and we instantly knew we bought the wrong size. No big deal, we can return it. Marco was the one who made the online purchase and he accidentally used his personal email. Also not a big deal, but he had to initiate the return.
The next morning, Saturday, I hoped online to repurchase the bigger size. I was in bed on my laptop doing this while Marco slept in next to me. To be safe, I wanted to make sure the return was processed before hitting purchase on another table but realized we didn’t get a confirmation email because it went to his email. Well, I leaned over and grabbed his phone expecting the notification to be right there. Instead, I saw an email from Alex via Paperless Post saying “Marcella has never had a surprise party keep this on the down low.”
About 30 seconds passed while my heart rate elevated and panic set in. A loud “MmmAARRRccCooOOoooooo” came out of me followed by “WHAT DO I DO” which I repeated maybe 70 times. He laid back down and covered his head with a pillow while I proceeded to have a Veruca Salt level meltdown. Tears, screaming and flailing my body around like a toddler. I was devastated.
I have always wanted a surprise party but have never successfully had one. This is in part due to the fact that I am extremely observant. I pick up on a lot of details and notice when something is off immediately. I am also always the planner and very controlling about how I want things done. Before anyone has had the chance to plan a surprise for me I have it already planned out. And I used to be very snoopy. Admittedly I use to poke around and look for things where I maybe shouldn’t have been looking.
Discovering that email was extra devastating because I genuinely wasn’t snooping. I had no clue a surprise party was even on the table. I just needed the damn return confirmation number!! This party was something I wanted deeply but I couldn’t pretend like I didn't know about it to my friends and family. Hey, I can’t even lie to you in this newsletter!
I then FaceTimed my mom over and over until she finally picked up. More crying, more screaming, more “what do I do,” and a lot of “I WANT A SURPRISE PARTY!!” She had no real solution for me and eventually told me to shut up. About 30 minutes later I calmed down but now I had questions…
We were planning an early birthday lunch before our trip with my parents, was it then? Or when we get back from vacation? What was the surprise? Dinner? Or a party? Who was going to be there?!
All Marco told me was that it was after our vacation, he was going to take me to dinner, and my girlfriends were going to be there as a surprise. I believed him and surprisingly dropped it. Still devastated, I made a few snarky comments throughout the day along the lines of at least you didn’t put a deposit down, good thing it was just dinner and not a big party, and you should have made a burner email.
Last Sunday I wanted to go to the farmers’ market to get tomatoes to make Slow Roasted Tomato Soup, Marco took me. I wanted to walk Josie together, he agreed. I wanted to work out, we both got a quick one in. At 2 pm he told me to get in the shower because we had my awkwardly early birthday lunch/dinner in an hour. Instead, I snapped at him to shower first because I wasn’t done vacuuming. My mom had called me the day before and said “let’s look nice because it’s fun to dress up.” I put on a dress, and did my makeup, but decided to let my hair air dry because I was too lazy to blow it dry just for lunch with my parents. As we were walking out the door Marco says “are you going to brush your hair or something?” Rude.
We drove the long 3 minutes down our hill to Wife and the Somm where my stepdad was standing outside pacing on the phone. He told us he would meet us inside and that my mom was waiting in the back. My grandpa was there but I figured she just brought him to lunch because it was my birthday. Half a second later I scanned to the left and saw a room full of people I knew…my friends!
I had just walked into my surprise party and I was completely surprised.
Apparently, this was the plan all along and I was right when I asked about it. I had believed Marco when he told me no and I didn’t pry at the details. My mom yelling at me to shut up was out of her own panic because she was in on it too. They had been planning this since before we moved back to LA…WHAT!?
It was overwhelming in the best way. Every other face I saw continued to surprise me. Our flower boy from our wedding drove up from San Diego, a friend from college flew in for the night, and a girlfriend from Santa Barbara drove down too. Not only that but there were friends from every chapter of my life. Thirty of them!! I still can’t believe all the people I love made it there in one room to celebrate me.
In my previous life, AKA my early 20s, Marco and I were the people who hosted. Every holiday, random weekends, birthdays, and when the bars closed but we weren’t ready to go to bed. Our little apartment was always filled with people. The last three years were more isolating than I realized. Physically being across the country and for all the reasons that none of us had any control over. I forgot what it felt like to have a community. To hug people, cheers over delicious wine, and giggle with your girlfriends. These are the important things in life and I missed them.
We shot back oysters, nibbled on cheese, and drank many bottles of wine. Eventually, the question of what should we do after came up and I immediately knew I wanted everyone to come back to our house. Our bed wasn’t made, there were piles of laundry on the couch waiting to be folded, and dishes in the sink. I didn’t care I just wanted my friends in my home.
My mom and I got a head start home to make the bed and shove the laundry back in the dryer. She lit candles and I threw the cats into the guestroom so I could open up the living room doors. Our night turned into an impromptu house party and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
My heart is so full and I am still in shock. I feel like myself again and it is good to be back with my people. I have an infinite amount of gratitude for my mom, Marco, and everyone that gathered for me. How did I get so lucky?
Slow Roasted Tomato Soup
You have seen this recipe before, I make it every year! Grab as many tomatoes as you can this week and make this soup to freeze for cold sad winters.
5lbs Tomatoes, any in-season variety
½ lb of onions or shallots
2 handfuls of fresh basil with the stems
5 sprigs of fresh oregano
3+ garlic cloves
⅓ cup of olive oil
Optional: fresh or dried chilis for a little bit of heat
Heat your oven to 350°
1. Cut large tomatoes in quarters, small tomatoes in half, and leave cherry tomatoes whole. Remove any bruises or stems. Remove the outer layer and ends of the shallot and/or onions. Cut large onions in half. Peel garlic cloves and leave whole.
2. In an enamel dutch oven or stainless steel pot — add tomatoes, onions, herbs (with stems), garlic, olive oil, and chilis (if using). Leave uncovered and roast undisturbed for 2 hours. Tomatoes should be soft, juicy, and slightly caramelized around the edges.
3. Remove the oregano stems and thick basil stems leaving all the leaves in the pot. Working in batches, puree tomatoes in a blender until completely smooth. Add pureed tomatoes back into the pot. Season generously with salt and pepper.
*If your soup looks too thick, thin it out with a little chicken broth or H2O.
⬇️ I made a new updated Reel for this recipe too, watch it HERE! ⬇️
Papi, I don't want things to change. Things are nice. *A cute little read that I relate to big time.
Christmas Is Coming Soon to a Bar Near You *I went a few times in KC. One place was great, the other was not. It’s an experience for sure.
Marinated Celery with Couscous and Pickled Raisins *From Tenderheart, Hetty McKinnon’s new book!
Best thing I ate this week: Everything at Capri Club! Had a girl’s night on Friday with my favorite friend to eat with, Alex. She and I go to town when we dine out together and it rocks. We shared polenta fries, meatballs, white beans and ahi tuna, arancino, two kinds of pasta….and I think that’s everything?
No bad bites were had and the drinks were just as good. We went early, around 5:30 pm, and it was packed when we got there. It stayed busy until we left and it’s because it is a really cool place. Add it to your list.
I love my metal fish spatula but you need a non-metal spatula for flipping things on a nonstick pan, like pancakes! Get this one by Gir. It’s way better than any crappy plastic thing you might have. I had one too and this silicone one was a major upgrade.
Talk to you Wednesday with a Kitchen Club recipe!! I can’t wait. Xx, M