3 Things I Want to Tell You

Still pregnant but I've been busy

Welcome to Cooking Stuff. This is a place where we talk about all things food, cooking, and life. I paused my regular publishing frequency to focus more on IRL projects…and now we are getting ready to have a baby. There will be a shift in this newsletter again, more on that below.

Cooking Stuff Vol. 2 — Summer

I made another magazine! This was another ferocious, “I don’t have a lot of time, but I will get this done” project. Of course, I did start working on this long ago with plenty of time, but then I got pregnant and life got weird. When I realized time was running out, I really buckled down and did the damn thing. I’m proud of myself! I think it is really beautiful.

I took your favorite recipes that I’ve served over the last few summers and put them in this magazine. I can remember my neighbor Carl raving about how much he loved the Watermelon with Thai Basil, Mint, and Peanuts. Sonia, who doesn't love tomatoes, really enjoyed Tomatoes with Pepperoncini and Saffron. The group of six who proclaimed Humbolt Fog Dressing on the wedge was more enjoyable than traditional blue cheese. And the private dinner of all women who couldn't get enough of the Shaved Squash Salad. That’s just the salad section. I have a memory for every dish in here. This magazine was curated by all the guests who have come to Backyard over the years.

I leaned heavily into summer produce, of course, and lots of “use what you got.” Summer is not the time to be cooking for hours. Let’s make a quick flavorful meal and get outside. There are 17 recipes from me, 3 recipes from Marco, 74 photos from Carina Clark, and a handful of special stories. You might even spot a photo of yourself too.

I said this last time, and I’m saying it again—I’m going to give myself more time to work on the next volume. Which leads me into number 2…

“I have zero interest in the internet grind.”

My friend, another food creator, said this to me at lunch recently, and it sparked a lot of self-dialogue in my head. She and I met via Instagram back around covid time when social media was all we really had. We were both pumping out recipes, making TikToks, photoshoots, writing blogs/newsletter posts, and gaining followers. I could write multiple essays on how weird it is to be a person on the internet, but at the end of the day, it doesn't fill my cup. I hate being a slave to algorithms, clickbait words, and ridiculous trends.

You know what I do like?

Cooking for you. Sitting in my backyard and connecting with people in real life. Seeing faces light up when they try something new. Hugging you! That 16-hour hustle leaves me with the greatest high.

Making a physical magazine and sending you a copy with a handwritten note inside. I spend months perfecting every detail, and it’s the ultimate mixed-media art project to work on. It is fun! Knowing that a snapshot of exactly this moment in time is sitting in your home is incredibly fulfilling.

Social media has become a tool for my business, not my entire business. It’s not completely useless because it keeps us connected. I recognize the photos of people who have followed me for years, and when an order comes in, I know who you are. I love being connected, but I don’t love the grind of social media.

So for now, I’m going to have a baby. I’m going to take a break to figure out what our life looks like and who I am on the other side of that experience. When I feel up for it, I’m going to work on Vol. 3 Breakfast (!!). I won’t be able to do 12-hour shoot days and obsessively test recipes for three days straight. But I have started working on it now, and when I’m ready, I can start writing, shooting photos, and playing around with the design. I’m giving myself a long deadline, and I hope to have it out in spring 2026.

And for Backyard, the question I get asked the most, as soon as she can spend a night at my mom’s—we will do a dinner. I can tell you with 100% certainty that we won't be doing three a month, but I’m not done with cooking for you.

Yes, my pregnancy got better

and I'm sorry it took me so long to update you.

Pregnancy is a mind fuck. I’m not sugar coating anything. That first trimester was hard. Keeping it a secret was isolating. I felt like a shell of myself.

The second trimester did get better. My food aversions went away, and I could cook again. My energy was better. I felt normal!! I did three backyard dinners—at five, six, and seven months pregnant, and I have never felt more badass. I made a magazine. I have an overflowing amount of gratitude for those few months of normalcy and the ability to wrap up that chapter of my life.

The third trimester hit me hard again. I’m tired. So tired that some days I get up and get right back in bed. My feet hurt. I thought I was going to be able to do one last Backyard dinner for the magazine launch…LOL no. I have mild carpal tunnel. I’m living in PJs because that is all that fits. My baseline for the last nine months has been mildly depressed. Marco has to put my shoes on for me, and I’m over it. It’s hard not to feel like yourself for so long.

That being said, I’m still walking a ton and going to yoga. I’m cooking just for fun and reading cookbooks like crazy. We had two baby showers, and I feel loved by my people. We are excited. Looking back now that I’m on the edge of the finish line, pregnancy is definitely miserable, but it hasn’t been that bad. I know, I can’t believe I’m saying that too. You have a lot of time to work through your feelings and my advice is to feel them all.

See you on the other side!

What I Really Wish I Knew Before Motherhood

The Quilters—about inmates who quilt for foster kids. I cried! I want more!

Holy Basil, Osteria Mozza, Raffi’s Place

Thai street food, classic Italian from Nancy, and Persian Armenian. Three places I can’t get enough of right now.

Marco went fishing and caught a yellowtail! He is so cool. Our freezer is stocked with fish. He said it was his contribution to “meal prep” for postpartum.